Breastfeeding is often portrayed as a natural and rewarding experience, and it certainly can be, but it also comes with its own set of challenges and unexpected learning curves. Here’s a real and raw look at my breastfeeding journey with Alice, what I’ve learned, and what you might expect if you’re in the thick of it or just figuring it out.

The Pros:

Bonding: While I don’t see it as the deepest or most special connection I have with Alice, breastfeeding does create a consistent closeness and routine. It’s been a quiet, shared space between us that has grown over time.

Nutrition: Breast milk adapts to Alice’s needs and supports her immune system. That has been a huge motivator to keep going, especially on the tough days.

Cost-Effective: It does save money compared to other options, even though our specific setup isn’t what I’d call convenient by any means.

The Cons:

Early Struggles: Alice struggled to latch for almost a month and that stretch was rough. I honestly questioned whether we’d ever figure it out. It wasn’t graceful. It was gritty.

Feeding Conditions: Alice only feeds well in a very quiet, dark room. That makes nursing in public or on the go nearly impossible for us. The “just pop a boob out anywhere” advice did not apply here.

Physical and Emotional Strain: I have a slow letdown and experience DMER, which brings a wave of negative emotions at the start of each session. Plus, every time letdown hits, I get this intense, almost panicky urge to drink water. It’s strange, but it’s real.

My Experience:

If you ever hear me talk about breastfeeding with pride or joy, please know it’s not because I feel special or better than anyone else. It’s because this has been a hard-won victory. We’ve had to overcome a lot to get to where we are and I’m proud of us for pushing through.

Every journey is different. Some are short and sweet, some are long and layered, and some never really start at all. However it unfolds, your experience is valid. And if it’s hard, really hard, you’re not alone.