I’ve finally started feeling brave enough again to sneak away like a ninja when Alice drifts off to sleep. And honestly? More credit is due to us mommas who pull off this nighttime heist.

It’s a whole thing, replacing my warmth with a carefully placed blanket, hoping she doesn’t notice the ol’ switcheroo. Then I begin the slowest roll out of bed, praying my knees don’t crack loud enough to wake the cat, let alone the baby. I freeze like a statue for a second, just to be sure she’s still snoozing and I’m not about to have to dive back under the covers.

Once I’m in the clear, I tiptoe to the door and grab the knob like I’m defusing a bomb. Twist…slowly…no sound…don’t breathe. And when I finally get to the other side? I take a big silent breath of freedom like I just made it through the final round of my very own version of Ninja Warrior: Mom Edition.

But let’s not pretend the job’s done. I’ve got the camera pulled up on my phone, checking every 30 seconds like clockwork. And sure enough, right around the 1-hour mark, she stirs. The blanket decoy failed. The arm flails. The head lifts. The search for the missing midnight snack begins.

Cue me sprinting back in like I’ve been summoned by a royal decree. Scoop her up, cradle her close, and nurse her right back to sleep like nothing ever happened.

Another mission complete. Until next time, tiny boss.