Let’s talk about my love language: lists.

Some women collect shoes. Others collect crystals.

I collect checkmarks and bulleted joy.

My husband wanted me to write a blog post about my lists, probably as some form of gentle public shaming. Joke’s on him, I will proudly shout from the rooftops (and also from the back of the pantry list taped to the inside of the door) that I am, in fact, a list person.

Need groceries?

There’s a list for that.

Need to pack for a trip?

There’s a main list, a sub-list, and a color-coded “Did You Forget Toothpaste Again?” list.

Need to confront someone in a highly therapeutic and emotionally balanced way?

Oh, baby. There’s a drafted, outlined, and timestamped list for that too.

I make lists of things to do, restaurants to try, lists of meals, a list for every store including trader joes, sams, Walmart, lists of stuff we need, stuff we don’t need, things I want to 3D print, things I want to dow with Alice or teach her.

At this point I’m like a human version of that 90s song:

🎶 “These are a few of my listy things!” 🎶

I don’t just make lists.

I curate them. I give them hierarchy.

And bless my husband, he has learned to love this part of me. Or at least tolerate it with the kind of dazed smile people wear when someone shows them 42 open tabs on their phone and says, “I’m using all of them.”

So here it is. A blog post dedicated to my lists.

Don’t worry, there’s a list inside the blog post too. In fact:

Reasons Lists Are Superior to All Other Forms of Human Function:

1. They keep me sane.

2. They keep everyone else alive.

3. They’re prettier than chaos.

4. I can write “make a list” and immediately check it off.

5.They never talk back.

6. The dopamine hit is better than coffee.

7. Husband doesn’t get to ask, “What are we doing today?” because, BAM! List.

To all my fellow list-makers: you are seen. You are validated. Your highlighters matter.

And to my dear husband, who just wanted a list-free life and ended up married to a spreadsheet with feelings, I love you. You’re #1 on every list.

Well… every list that’s not grocery-related. You’re #7 on that one. Right between donuts and peanut butter .